Husband Issues!

It’s our anniversary and I woke up to the sound of Edward screeching “Muuuuummyyyy!”. Felicity is awake by the time I reach Edward so I struggle to carry them both back to our room with one eye seemingly still sleeping, firmly closed. It is 5am!

I spend half an hour trying to get them to nap a little longer only to have them both fighting across me and taking it in turns to poke up my nose... darlings...

I remember it is our 5th wedding anniversary and I’m amazed at how much we have done since that special day... our life is completely different than the daily rat-race of work and off to Australasia Bar for sushi and bubbles. Although I sometimes miss those days, I have to say that waking up to being smothered by these little creations of ours is definitely the best anniversary present EVER!

I literally manage to make contact with the shower. I mean the soap barely skimmed the Epidermis before I got out and dressed, ready to deal with the pickles that are storm Edward and Felicity wrecking the bedroom.

I take them downstairs and tell my gorgeous husband to take a shower in peace. Now this is where I suddenly start to turn into some weird, time-obsessed stalker. I hear the shaver... really!?! My husband sports the stubble look so he just trims it up. “Ok, calm down”... I say to myself. Let’s think logically, he’s probably thinking he wants to look his best for our dinner date later and he won’t have time after work so he’s doing it quickly now. Sweeeet, how nice he makes an effort.

Ok, the children are eating their way through the fridge and I am trying to get them ready for Nursery chasing them around the house. I have a nice jumper on but couldn’t find my jeans so I’ve thrown on some yoga pants (ironic as I have never done yoga in my life). 

I have heard the shower for well over 10 minutes now! What is he doing?? I said take a shower not take the piss! (Yes I am really thinking this) Seriously, I bet he is using leave-in conditioner or exfoliating or something else extravagant (I remember these things from when they used to be standard elements of getting ready…before children). Meanwhile, I’m ran around make-up-less, with my hair in one of Felicity’s hair bobbles which is far too tight and I feel my eyes are stretched to my ears and furthermore my legs are stinging like the depths of hell because I’ve dragged the razor over them whilst still cold and goose bumped and there is the flipping Lord of the Manor taking a 10... no wait 12 minute shower!

Then he strolls downstairs with his socks to put on whilst I’m chasing Edward around the hallway who is wearing Felicity’s knickers pulled over his head. Arghhhhh!! Are your socks urgent?!? Is that the most pressing thing you thought to do when I’m looking more like one of the lost boys and the children have each other’s clothes on, scooting around the fluffy carpet just so they can use the lint roller on each other!

With a calm face but a psychotic tone of voice I ask, “Are you busy??”

“I was just putting my socks on, I go to work you know”

NO, YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT…Really... really... REALLY....!