Shopping Revelations
I have been a full time resident in Jersey for just shy of 4 years. My usual supermarket is Waitrose, which is lovely and filled to the brim with many items I top my trolley with. However, I feel that every time I go with the children it takes forever to get around and they both get bored easily and then the last stretch is one of tantrums and bribery.
In addition, I have recently been drawn to the advertisements regarding the co-operative massively reducing their plastic packaging, selling far more local produce and saving you money. Soooo, I have been very proud of my little adventures to a co-operative that I never knew existed until about a couple of months ago!
The child-friendly parking spaces are huge and you could easily park horizontal (I’m often not far off, yup, I'm probably snapped for Jersey Parking Fails somewhere). When you have a little “princess” demanding that you hurry up and park because we might not get one of two little tikes car trolleys, this extra space is actually a god send!
Walking around the supermarket initially starts all fun and games as felicity beeps the horn incessantly. That's ok though as I have that wonderful ability to shut off and pick my battles throughout each day. Even the continous glares from the elderly folk jumping out of the way, acting as if Felicity actually has the ability to plough them over, will not cloud this playful mother and daughter shopping trip. My mind is skipping to the future imagining this was London and we're looking for new outfits together, giggling away, people thinking we are sisters. Thank goodness for good imaginations!
Back to the Co-Op, we have the added excitement that she’s managed to bag 'Olivia Orange' and 'Fiona Fig' from her sticker collecting (another bonus point for this shop), one is for Edward which only amplifies the light-hearted and upbeat mood we are commencing this trip with.
As often is the case, this rose-tinted shopping trip could not last forever. We are now at the last few aisles of what Felicity calls, “boring stuff”, kitchen roll, fabric conditioner etc etc. She has done better than I thought, I expected her to hit this point back at the Fish counter, whilst I was interrogating the chap about the source of the fish.
Felicity is now arguing with me about the items we didn’t pick up, on the list that she cannot read and then subsequently discovered she has lost. Note to self when making a shopping list that you will ultimately be giving a toddler control of try to use a note book that doesn’t contain a lot of random information you wouldn’t want to share. Cue Lewis Hamilton mode.
Whilst Felicity comes up for air in her demands I spot a woman, a fellow mother, who I saw walk into the supermarket with two children and has been leisurely strolling around on her own... HOW???
I’m sure I recognize this woman (on reflection I think she’s a lady who used to host events for mums here). Anyway, I ask in passing, “what happened to your two children when you walked in?”. I am not entirely sure what I thought her response might be, maybe she would jump out of her skin and start fretting realizing they were on a school break and she completely forgot and left them by the cuddly fruit and veg when they were selecting their 'Penelope Pea' or 'Charlie Carrot'... Her response was actually one that will change my shopping experience for the best. “They’re in the play area”, she stated with a smile of relief and an ora of total calm surrounding her. WTFlip! This place has a play area??? I thought ‘Tot Stop’ meant they sell nappies and wipes etc. This goddess proceeds to ask how old Felicity is. I am quick to respond, “She can be whatever age she needs to be to get into that room!” Wow, I note the pure excitement in my voice and try to cool it when she’s giving me its location and details. She continues to tell me that if you spend £50 it’s free and I hold myself back from saying, “honey, at this point I would pay them for me to be able to shop in peace”.
The rest of my tour of the aisles I beam from ear to ear. This is a revelation.
I meet my hero, I mean the lovely lady again at the tills. Felicity is fretting because we didn’t put the chocolate rice crackers in the trolley, which to be fair was the only thing I had promised to pick up. Mrs Hero lady offers to mind Felicity and directs me to the exact spot I can locate said crackers (who is this woman?! I want to keep her).
I’m now in breach of my anti plastic vow and filling purchased bags to brim as the rush for the little tikes car made me forget my own bags. Trying to balance full bags on the trike trolley is a nightmare and pushing it is starting to feel like I’ve done 30 mins abs work, trying to navigate the darn thing is worse than trying to get Edward out of the bath and I’m pretty sure Felicity has whiplash from the crashes along the way. Also, it feels wrong on so many levels to be filling the back of a little tikes car with wine. Pfffttt... Needs must!
I reach for my purse and discover that Felicity has put her open water bottle in my bag and everything is soaked through. Wow!
The woman at the till reprimands me for not already being a member and saving money and starts giving me instructions to go and grab the application forms from... wait for it... The Post Office! Whaaaatttt, my head is going to explode! This place has a post office right inside it! I clearly walk around with my eyes half closed most of the time!
All in all, a successful shopping trip!
Oh...side note... the reducing plastic thing works far better when there are not huge rolls of tempting, shiny, whale killing, bird suffocating waste-of-time bags dotted in and out of vegetables like a flash mob about to take stage.
LOL. Well scripted and so funny. I felt as if I was there with you. You should clearly pen a book or two.
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