Lady of Leisure in the Salon Darling

It may well be sad, but I have been so excited for today for about 2 weeks! No I’m not going on holiday, having a boozy lunch or anything that would usually make me this excited but I’m having my hair done!!!

This is not just any appointment, the children are at nursery and that means I get to read a magazine or stuff on my phone without continuously having texts pop up from the husband asking me very basic questions about how to look after these little human beings!

So, we’re on time for drop off and Felicity has a melt down saying she wants to come home and “help Mummy help the ladies”, which are the cleaners but I really don’t like referring to them as the cleaners for some reason, I kind of feel it would be derogatory for Felicity or myself even to ever address them as the cleaners, so the ‘Ladies’ it is.

We then spend time having a discussion about this until I basically have to tell the nursery lady, “I really don’t have a hair appointment in 20 minutes” and throw her a very awkward wink, which is not a skill I have mastered properly in my life and always seem to look like I’m having some sort of episode. Luckily, I saw the penny drop and she ushers Felicity to the sand pit with her little ‘boyfriend’ who also has turned up crying. Although not one to enjoy other peoples upset I am quite relieved to see another child having a melt down in the same league as my Little Diva.

I’m now rushing to move my car as I’ve blocked two people in, thinking I would be in and out within a few minutes, which have now reached double figures. Getting all flustered I end up doing a 10-point turn, with an audience and nearly leave in the entirely wrong and restricted direction.

I finally leave the car park very slowly, thinking that the Newsletter distributed which side noted a reminder of the speed limit was some how aimed at me. I don’t believe I have ever reached the speed limit there, however, I have one of those guilty natures. You know the one where a shop alarm will go off and I drop my handbag, throw my hands up and say, “It’s me, It’s me!!”. Even I though I’ve literally just walked in the store.

Anyway, on my way to town and I stop at a junction happily signing away, really rocking it, feeling awesome to have some me time. A guy on a bicycle pulls up beside me in his very tight spandex gear and his name printed on his bottom... I’m guessing he’s a professional rider rather than egotistical. I have to squint to make it out and I half expect to read, “If you can read this you’re too close”. Much to my dismay he turns around and shoots me a smile and a chuckle. Well I’m very embarrassed, what is he doing?!?! Why is he looking at me like that?!?  Then I realize… Flipping turnips!!! I am actually blasting out, “Chick, Chick, Chick, Chick, Chicken, Lay a Little Egg for Me!” I have left the children’s music playing with not a child insight! I hastily fiddle with the buttons and hit the radio and resume being super cool listening to Radio 1 and avoid looking at the guy who clearly takes cycling far too seriously anyway!

Arriving at the car park I have 4 minutes to make it to my appointment, which is literally down the road. However, I have picked to go down the row where an older lady is reversing into a spot. Now I’m not one to pass judgement on driving, BUT... Freaking Hell!!! She hits and mounts the curb, she pulls forward and reversed back and does the same again and again. Me... well I just drive around the car park until I find a space I absolutely know I can get in (and out of) learning my lesson after my previous disasters with parking! I literally drive past spots that either look tight or have only one ticket in the window for fear that they may return before me and bash my car with their door. By the way I'm not entirely hopeless with parking spots, Jersey spots are notoriously small!!

I arrive at the appointment and apologise for my lateness, sit down and begin to enjoy my ‘ME’ time... I even have some ideas to share on my phone of new styles and colours and pretend to know exactly what the stylist is talking about with the colour change and depth and warmth and tone. I haven’t a clue but in she I will trust!

I’ve never been so happy to listen to stories about people’s crazy weekends (with envy might I add) and watch a guy hula hooping on someone’s phone! Is this what a lady of leisure does??

I collect the children from nursery who are ecstatic to see me and Felicity points out that all my hair is now brown and not just the “top bit down the middle”.

Out of the mouth of babes hey! Time for a Change. Do blondes have more fun??