My Party Life!

So after a very laborious morning getting the children ready and Felicity off to nursery, I decided to take Edward to grab some household essentials; wine and chocolate! Only kidding.

At my chosen supermarket there are 8 parent and child spots, all of which, no matter what time of the day are taken. Usually, by single shoppers without a child in sight!

Today there was a serious looking blonde who sat in her car and well just sat in her car. The lady had initially put her reverse lights on and so I sat patiently. However, she then decided to go back to the brake and start messing with her phone. Blondie had clearly seen me but refused to acknowledge me sat there indicators ticking, fingers tapping on the steering wheel and my ‘I’m not actually happy’ crooked smile. 

I feel she was not having a good day... Then my ‘smile’ softened and empathy sets in. I’ve been there at that point where you’re thinking “Freaking Turnips I’ve just charged around the aisles like Nigel Mansell with a screaming toddler, whilst everyone shakes their head and mutters to each other about my parenting skills (or lack of) only to then wrestle the toddler into the car seat and they fall asleep by the time you’ve packed the car up... Nope that’s it I’m sitting here and having 5 minutes to myself reading nonsense and catching up on all of the people I keep neglecting because of my constant state of frantic mummy-ing!” 

I let her be and move past, when she decides to leave! Typical! But as I say I’ll let it go! 

I find a spot which is beside a post, excellent I think as I will now have a cheeky bit extra room to get Edward out. So proud of myself! I add to that the very challenging task of reversing in. Just in case he does decide to throw the epic tantrum I come to expect, with the signature Iron Board move preventing me from getting him into his seat this simple forward thinking will make it easier to leave. With a huge grin I exit my vehicle... Edward is asleep... but that’s no problem I have a very handy basket on the single pram so I can put my shopping in that and he can continue his nap. Flipping heck I might be able to squeeze a coffee in this trip if he sleeps comfortably! Now I am truly beaming from ear to ear mentally deciding on whether to upgrade from a standard coffee to a latte, as it is possibly the one time in a while I will drink a hot, fresh and delicious beverage. 

Oh guess what... I can get the pram out of the trunk; however, I have nowhere to put it up as I’ve reversed in. What a plonker! You would think after 2.5 years of being a mummy I would have sussed these minor challenges, but oh no not me! Ok, well sleep is overrated and that’s what he must be thinking at 4.30am for the past three mornings. 

I’m now going through the ‘Do I get the trolley and leave the boy a moment’ or ‘get the boy, the bags, the changing bag, my handbag, phone and his kicked off shoes and take him to the trolley’. I decide on the latter for fear of being judged for going a couple of meters from the child and by the time I reach the trolley, Edward is practically upside down with a shoe up his left nostril and I am already sporting the unintended shabby chic look flashing a bit of bra he’s yanking down. 

BUT Edward is awake and in the trolley and we’re in the supermarket. 

Well I shiz you not... I have never been so excited to see detergents, washing capsules, dryer sheets. Everything on sale!!! Best shopping trip ever. HOLD ON!!! What the hell has happened to me!!!! I am literally eager to get back home to do a load of laundry. Is this my life?? I let out a small whimper and pull myself together. With a diva like voice in my head I tell myself I’m going to get on WhatsApp and arrange a crazy night out! Yeah that’s me alright... CRAZY part animal! So...I wonder if the girls can do an afternoon sometime, so I can be in bed early, maybe we should do lunch so I don’t get too tipsy...who am I trying to kid, I am still genuinely excited about my purchases! I send some mummy friends a picture of my purchases instead! 

It’s a Wild Day Today!