How Not to be a Yummy Mummy

My little man has been sick, I’m talking a lot of bad stomach stuff if you get my drift.

Felicity went to nursery on Monday as against my thoughts Rob pointed out that he still goes to work if I’m sick... not doing himself any favors with that one.

I decided to thoroughly clean the place (nope I’m not ‘nesting’). I started in the living room, mauling the rug around and attempting to shake it whilst continuously cracking my shins on just about everything.

Edward obviously woke from his nap early today and decided he suddenly hated Hoovers after all. Great stuff when the living room is turned upside down!

I place him at the side of the room safely behind the shifted coffee table and begin to Hoover... well you would think I was torturing him. This little fella is usually trying to ride on the Hoover. Not today. His bottom lip was quivering and his eyes poured with tears and the blood curdling sounds that left his little mouth was about to make my ears bleed. I couldn’t take it. I scooped him up, gave him a huge kiss (which I know all these kisses will likely lead me to have the dreaded sickness but I can’t help it these kids are so gosh darn cute!) and continue my hoovering and very awkward repositioning of the rug, furniture etc whilst using one hand! What a hero I am! I feel on top of the world with my achievement and Edward is super smiley the whole time. Winner!

Chores somewhat finished (there is only so much you can do with one hand)... I attempt to put Edward down to play for a little bit when yet again the whaling starts. For the record I would not usually mind him being a bit grumpy but we have this new, directly downstairs neighbor, who is constantly having things done to his place or delivered or gardening etc and for some reason I really don’t want to upset anyone (probably paranoid as my other neighbors seem to know more about the terms of our lease than we do!).

So in an attempt to pacify Edward I decided to kill two birds so to speak, well turns out I was definitely killing this bird! I took to doing lunges around the living space. I was going for about 30 minutes pushing through the pain and felt awesome. I had flushed cheeks, a slightly strained look to my face and my heart felt like it would burst from my chest but Edward was giggling and I felt like a new woman. I’m picturing my new body, the one I have seen in those glossy magazines. Oh, don’t be thinking I have reading time, I manage to read one at the hairdressers once a month between texting parenting instructions to the husband, who always acts as though it’s the first time he’s been left with his children and his mind has been erased from all logical and basic human functioning.

Anyway, the new woman went to run some clothes upstairs and holy cow, the burn! I felt me legs wobbling! My thighs felts like lead and my butt muscles have never ached like that before. I get to the top and sit for a minute. That’s a good sign right, must have really been working hard, right...?

The next morning I woke up and could hardly move. Rob kindly helped me up. Bless him he tried to cover the substantial effort he needed to exert but the large exhale gave it away. This day was one of constant yelping and a walk John Wayne would be envious of.

Yummy mummy here I come... maybe... later...